The Principle of a Healthy Relationship

Have you had the following experience? You were single, and had been doing your own thing quite well. You had work. You had friends. You had hobbies. You had your own lifestyle. But then, one day you met someone, and fell in love. It was a wonderful beginning of a relationship. The more deeply you fell in love, the more time you spent with that person, and you wanted even more. You went into the relationship deeper and deeper. You wanted to spend every minute of your life with your love.

Little by little, you began to drop what you had been doing. You met fewer of your friends. You spent fewer hours on the hobbies that you had been so passionate about. You stopped some things that you had enjoyed, because your partner didn’t like them. You began some new things that you didn’t really enjoy, because your partner wanted you to do them together. Little by little, your lifestyle became something else. And as your lifestyle changed, your partner became more and more important in your life.

Then, a “problem” occurred in the relationship. Then another problem. Then another, and then another. Things seemed to go downhill. You felt panic, because the relationship was everything to you by that time. You desperately tried to save the relationship, but the more you tried, the worse the relationship became, and the more pain you had. You just couldn’t succeed in changing the downhill trend. The relationship ended sooner or later.

What went wrong?

You had lost “you” for the sake of the relationship, and most of the time, that was what went wrong.

Your partner had wanted you because of whom you had been, and you were becoming a different person than the one whom your partner had fallen in love with.

As you lose yourself in the relationship, there appears a void inside you, and it will be filled by your partner. As your inside is more filled by your partner, you will become a more different person. Also, even a very small disturbance in the relationship will bring a “disaster” to your daily life. If this process happens in both of you, it is called a symbiotic relationship.

So many relationships broke up because of this. Are you familiar with this cycle?

1. Meet
2. Falling in love
3. Symbiotic relationship, giving up on many things
4. Break-up
5. Re-surfacing to be oneself

One of the keys to maintaining a healthy relationship is to keep your own identity. If you and a person cannot share a moment that both of you can enjoy without losing your own identities, then you and the person are simply not compatible. Astrology is a good tool to know more about this aspect of a relationship.

Going into a symbiotic relationship is tempting. There is a sweet taste in it, just like sugar. This is why most people take this route. However, as too much sugar harms your body, a symbiotic relationship will begin to erode you and your partner sooner or later.

A relationship will never be healthy and most likely end poorly if you lose yourself for the relationship.

If you are in a relationship, this principle will keep it healthy. If you want to have a relationship, having this principle in mind will actually bring a healthy relationship to you more quickly (there is another principle behind it, but this is for later).

Please think about this principle, and if you have any question, let me know by an email to rick@spiritualloveadvice.com. I will answer the question in the next newsletter.

Sincerely,
Rick